Thursday, April 24, 2008

Vile, Disgusting and Just Obscene (RANT)

Instances that you wouldn't get to experience if you didn't have children.

A nice evening dinner. A quick drive home. A quick stop at a gas station because a child has to pee. A quick drive home hastened by the gross out factor and the sheer ick factor. (not for the squeamish or faint of heart.) OMG is all I can say.

The first thing a parent does when a kid says they need to pee is ask... can you hold it? (well maybe you don't but I do!) Assuming they are old enough to hold it, of course. When the resounding answer of "NO" reverberates around the car from the back seat, the next thing the parent does is hastily stop at the nearest convenience store, gas station or fast food restaurant to avoid the accident. So that is what we did.

We happened upon a gas station. (mistake #1) Went in and asked the idiot man behind the desk the way to the facilities. He points and verbally directs us that way. We get there and there is a sign on the door "Out of Order." Puzzled why he didn't say that before sending us off in that direction I turn to go back and he has followed us....

"It's okay I've taken care of it - you can go in."

Assuming (mistake #2) the usual plumbing problem that could be fixed by plunging, we open the door and are instantly hit by a smell, a quick glance at the floor reveals a 'splattering' of liquid substance on the floor. Not fecal (in case you're wondering.) My brain is in slow-mo today. The toilet is filled with said substance. Okay the toilet exploded, maybe. "She really has to pee" is still running through my head.

"EEEWWWW" is all she can say.

I flush the toilet. I'm disgusted but she has to pee. I don't swear but F*** I can't stay here.

"Mum? I AM NOT peeing here!"
"OUT! OUT! GET OUT! Go.... goooo..... gooo..... you'll have to pee at home... Hold it, I don't care, you aren't going here." I say as I shove her quickly out the door..... OMG.

There was vomit all over the toilet, the floor. His idea of cleaning it up .... shove an entire roll of toilet paper in it and clear a path from the door to the toilet. He didn't even try to clean it up.

All that is running through my head is I've just exposed my child to the stomach bug. She "EEEWWW'ed" all the way home... We Pine Sol'd our shoes... and disinfected our hands...

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